Monday, January 9, 2017

Stuck in Bed, but Letting Go

I've been sick in bed since Thursday, which makes today the fifth day here.

I cringe at what a waste these days seem—no reading, no meditating, no stretching, no writing—but my body needs these days to heal.

I cancelled four various plans over the weekend—two dinners with different groups, which had been planned over a month out to be sure we'd see each other before I left the country again; a day helping grandma take down Christmas decorations; and a Skype call with a new online friend.

It was frustrating to watch it all slip away in a snap, but there was no other option. I then had to let go and accept what was, instead of holding on to what was supposed to be.

My biggest worry in the thick of it was that my cold would turn into an ear infection, which often happens with me (the most recent being July). I'm not afraid of the potential pain, but more so of the fact that I'm currently uninsured in the USA. (Kind of a long story.) Fingers are still crossed that my ears will remain unharmed. (I'm really pushing the ginger, Cathleen—thank you.)

Also as of Thursday, I've been without phone service. Chatting with my company online told me it's either the phone or the sim, I would need to take it into a store to find out which. If it's a problem with the sim, they told me, then I'd have to buy a new one. (What?!) And if it's a problem with the phone... yeah. So with only two weeks left here, I'll probably just continue without any service. That also means I probably won't drive anywhere, because driving in the winter in Wisconsin without a phone is not a smart move.

But among all of these frustrations, I let the gratitude seep in.

Grateful to be sick with a warm roof over my head, soup in the cupboards, and parents who bought ginger and lemons for me at the grocery store.

Grateful that I'd had any plans with friends in the first place.

Grateful to still participate—albeit a day late, from bed—in Candace Rose Rardon's Moment Catcher's Project (first Saturday of each month).

In times of stress or frustration, it always helps me to take a step back and turn my attention to gratitude.
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